January 22, 2009
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Detox Diet Tips
The military does change definitely keep tabs on your man to make sure hes not straying but yes the military does change definitely keep tabs on.
The military does change people.
The military does change definitely keep tabs on your man to make sure hes not straying but yes the military.
From Good Guinness To You!
Comment by Good Guinness To You! — January 23, 2009 @ 10:23 pm
Give him sometime to cool off. This is from all the mental stress from camp. Ya, they party, some party too much and end up seeing the section commander.
But guys give other guys advice some good and some bad.
I told my hubby when we first started dating… I’m not one of your pea-ons and you won’t boss me around. We’ve been together over 7 years
Comment by Monet — January 23, 2009 @ 11:14 pm
wat branch of military is he? cuz my friend just graduated from the marines and he n his gf got married and hes only 19. military changes ppl tho. im joining the marines i dont have a gf but there is a girl that i talk 2 is really happy that im joining so mayb ill b with her after but u can never really know how it will change somebody. its in that person to change how they see fit now that they are a soilder. i expect when i come back to cut ties with my friends i dont see as being there in the long run and that arnt good friends. just talk 2 him and see how he feels. thatd b the best thing i could see u doin.
Comment by pdubz231326 — January 26, 2009 @ 6:37 am
I would say its very normal. They have been restricted from doing things while in boot. My husband had a 10 day leave and i have no problem letting him go out with some of his buddies. He does not hang around the same people he did before but either way, we will be moving here and there, he will make new friends and so on. He’s a man. He has responsabilities but he still does them. Just make sure he knows his boundries. When i first saw My husband at fam day/ grad day- he barked orders at me– “walk on the sidewalk” “dont stand there” “dont wear that…” EVERYTHING YOU DO- REFLECTS HIM. As far as cusing goes- you just have to teach your kids, just because you say a bad word DOES NOT mean they can. My son has said a few and i just look at him and tell him that daddy is the only one that can use that word and then i give him another option like “darn.” I love my husband and we are going to have to deal with change - its what we signed up for.
Comment by USMCwifey — January 28, 2009 @ 8:48 pm
OK I can relate. After I went to Boot I used the F bomb all the time along with many other ‘nice’ words. Never even realized I was doing it. It comes from being around a bunch of guys for over 2 months. They become family and everyone uses the same words. When they get back to civilian life it is difficult because you are used to the military way of doing things. The whole, “I tell you to do it and it gets done no questions asked.” Now some of my friends had an issue with it and I tried to not be that way but it takes some time. His hanging out with his friends is his release right now. Let him get it out of his system, he still cares for you but maybe not sure how to show it since he was desensitized in boot. He will return to the person you knew. As for the cussing around the kids that is something he will get when he has kids. I still “cussed like a sailor” after I was married and I occasionally still cuss in front of my kids but it is mainly when I am really frustrated. But when my son was born I cussed some of the time but then got mad at myself for doing it. It is a learning process and he will catch on you just have to be patient with him and direct him the way you want him. Remember he has been told to follow orders and if you are in charge of the house then he needs to know he is going by your rules there.
Comment by jhill724 — January 31, 2009 @ 4:08 am
The military defiantely can change people. But, if you guys have a sturdy foundation they you should be fine. You have to understand though that these guys come out of BCT and NEVER want to be told what to do again… for a while. They don’t want anyone keeping tabs or checking in on them or telling them what to do. The biggeset thing that my husband had to say was ” It seems so weird to have ALL your freedom taken away from you, in order to fight for freedom”, meaning that they give up all forms of freedom in BCT and when they get out they just want a little back. When my husband first came out of boot he was pretty partial to the “F” word too, but it wore off… after a little bit
Talk with him about how you’re feeling if he is receptive to that kind of thing. Try to understand where he is coming from and be patient. It will wear off a little and he will go back to the same guy you fell in love with. Just a more confident, well-defined version. Stick with him, it’s tough but will work out. Just make sure you are both on the same page about what it is that you still want together and you’ll be fine. Remeber, you’re in it for the long haul and he is just needing to blow off steam right now.
Comment by Smith 15F — February 1, 2009 @ 7:53 pm
Posted by barbamatt
It is very normal to be wound up after boot camp. Even seasoned vets can spot a new recruit across the room. He will chill out eventually. Especially when he gets with his unit and they straighten him out.
As far as the relationship goes you have to find the line between being supportive and giving him space and being his door mat…You set your own boundaries. Let him know that you are proud of him and support him, but at the same time do not allow him to walk over you.
There is no excuse for using the f-bomb around kids. The Army didn’t do that…that is on him. He needs to man-up and be an adult and accept responsibility for his own actions. Also the Army didn’t make him drink. That is his own thing.
He may talk a little more directly to you and sound short…I would let some…(some, not all) of that slide. As long as he is not disrespecting you.
I don’t know which “looser” friends you mean…if it is his old high school buddies he knew before, then that will change too over time. When he sees that their lives are going in different directions some of that will fade away…he may maintain one or two close friendships but even the things he does with them will change.
But if it is his new Army buddies you are going to have to learn to share him a little. Military people have common experiences that they share with each other because other people don’t always understand. Sometimes it is easier to talk to someone else who has been there.
Be patient with him. Give him some time…you can not change a grown man. If his behavior is unacceptable you have to let him know what you want, with out nagging or bit**ing. Just be open and honest about it.
If he doesn’t come around, then you have to make decesions about where you want to go in the relationship.
Comment by barbamatt — February 1, 2009 @ 11:01 pm
There’s an old joke. A young soldier returns from basic training and is having dinner with his parents. His mother compliments him on how much more confident and disciplined he is since he went to basic. The young soldier replies - “Thanks Mom. Please pass the f—ing butter.”
The point is that he has been in a total immersion environment for several weeks and has changed - someways good, someways bad.
The changes don’t have to be permanent. In the military he is used to playing by their rules. You have to let him know what your rules are. You shouldn’t tolerate behavior on his part you consider offensive and disrespectful.
He’s right about needing to “detox”. After any traumatic experience a guy needs to spend some time alone and work things out in his head.
Give him the space he needs to get his head straight and let him know what you are not going to tolerate. Also make sure to tell him how proud you are of him and tell him the positive ways the Army has made him better. That way he will understand that its not just one sided.
Comment by jmansfield65 — February 4, 2009 @ 7:32 am